Or "Are you sure this is a size 12"
It seems like it's fairly common knowledge that wedding dresses "run small" compared to high street shops. I want to quickly explain where this impression comes from, why my samples are the size they are, and some quick ideas on how to keep your sanity while being manhandled into a very tight dress by a sales assistant on what is supposed to be a happy day.
First of all- it's important to remember that sizes are just numbers. They help the industry codify bodies, which come in all shapes and sizes and heights and proportions, into roughly 6 standard sizes. The system is imperfect, not least because it appeals to the side of our brain that wants to put things in boxes and say "okay so if I'm a size X I must look like Y", or worse "I can only be happy if I'm a size X" This brings about what is often referred to as "vanity sizing", where high street shops make their sizes fit a slightly bigger body in order to make them feel good and therefore buy the product. Of course, once one shop does this there's a lot of pressure on their competitors to do the same- why buy size 14 jeans from here when you fitted into the 12s next door. The lower end of the fashion market, the fast fashion we wear most days, is more guilty of this than higher end fashion. Similarly, within the wedding industry the high street dresses like Monsoon bridal or Phase 8 run truer to their casual fashion equivalents, while the bigger designers often work to vintage patterns, before the gradual growth of vanity sizing.
I think small sample sizes are one of the areas the wedding industry really let's itself down. Quite often very normal sized women will say to me that they haven't been able to try on a single dress that does up. When I first started my collection I made all my dresses a size 12 or 14 sample, and over the last few months I've had to slowly tailor them down to size 8s so often for models there is no longer any point in me making samples in any other size. The issue has been that I underestimated the role styled shoots (like the one on Pasties and Petticoats or b.loved) would play in advertising my business. These are generally organised by the photographer, who will usually give me a choice of size 6 or 8 models. One of the main reasons the corseted look is so in fashion right now is that it's one of the easiest styles to adjust the sizing of, by lacing it tighter, saving the designers a lot of time doing fittings on models and then ultimately brides.
How to keep your sanity while being manhandled into a very tight dress by a sales assistant
- Ignore the sizing. If possible, don't even look at the number in the back of the dress. If the sales assistant says the number out loud, pretend it is American or European sizing and that it means nothing to you. It bares so little resemblance to the sizing you're used to that this shouldn't be hard. Focus on the dress not the size.
- Be kind. Don't say anything about yourself, your body, or the way you look in a dress that you wouldn't say to your friend if she was trying wedding dresses on. I stole this trick from Amy Poehler and I think it's brilliant. Don't say the word fat. Don't point out your bingo wings. Focus on the positives, but be honest about what's not working. I use this in every area of my life.
- Go bespoke, so you never have to assign a number to your size! Obviously my favourite tip is to have something tailored to you so that it's never a "size 12", it's a size YOU. You are not a number. You are beautiful.
