Author: Ailsa

Sizing in Wedding Dresses

Guideweddingsizes

Or "Are you sure this is a size 12"

It seems like it's fairly common knowledge that wedding dresses "run small" compared to high street shops. I want to quickly explain where this impression comes from, why my samples are the size they are, and some quick ideas on how to keep your sanity while being manhandled into a very tight dress by a sales assistant on what is supposed to be a happy day.

First of all- it's important to remember that sizes are just numbers. They help the industry codify bodies, which come in all shapes and sizes and heights and proportions, into roughly 6 standard sizes. The system is imperfect, not least because it appeals to the side of our brain that wants to put things in boxes and say "okay so if I'm a size X I must look like Y", or worse "I can only be happy if I'm a size X" This brings about what is often referred to as "vanity sizing", where high street shops make their sizes fit a slightly bigger body in order to make them feel good and therefore buy the product. Of course, once one shop does this there's a lot of pressure on their competitors to do the same- why buy size 14 jeans from here when you fitted into the 12s next door. The lower end of the fashion market, the fast fashion we wear most days, is more guilty of this than higher end fashion. Similarly, within the wedding industry the high street dresses like Monsoon bridal or Phase 8 run truer to their casual fashion equivalents, while the bigger designers often work to vintage patterns, before the gradual growth of vanity sizing.

I think small sample sizes are one of the areas the wedding industry really let's itself down. Quite often very normal sized women will say to me that they haven't been able to try on a single dress that does up. When I first started my collection I made all my dresses a size 12 or 14 sample, and over the last few months I've had to slowly tailor them down to size 8s so often for models there is no longer any point in me making samples in any other size. The issue has been that I underestimated the role styled shoots (like the one on Pasties and Petticoats or b.loved) would play in advertising my business. These are generally organised by the photographer, who will usually give me a choice of size 6 or 8 models. One of the main reasons the corseted look is so in fashion right now is that it's one of the easiest styles to adjust the sizing of, by lacing it tighter, saving the designers a lot of time doing fittings on models and then ultimately brides.

How to keep your sanity while being manhandled into a very tight dress by a sales assistant

  1. Ignore the sizing. If possible, don't even look at the number in the back of the dress. If the sales assistant says the number out loud, pretend it is American or European sizing and that it means nothing to you. It bares so little resemblance to the sizing you're used to that this shouldn't be hard. Focus on the dress not the size.
  2. Be kind. Don't say anything about yourself, your body, or the way you look in a dress that you wouldn't say to your friend if she was trying wedding dresses on. I stole this trick from Amy Poehler and I think it's brilliant. Don't say the word fat. Don't point out your bingo wings. Focus on the positives, but be honest about what's not working. I use this in every area of my life. 
  3. Go bespoke, so you never have to assign a number to your size! Obviously my favourite tip is to have something tailored to you so that it's never a "size 12", it's a size YOU. You are not a number. You are beautiful.

 

InstaHateShopping

Bespokeprocess

instashoppin1

Beginner’s Guide to Wedding Photography

Guideweddingphotography

Getting the photography right on your big day is so important. Not only do you want to remember the way you and everyone you looked on your wedding day in the years and decades to come, but brides and grooms are often so busy on their special day that going through the photos is a great way to share some of the moments you might have missed. It's a large part of your budget- typically about 10%, and unlike the dress, the cake and the venue, it's very difficult to try it out before the big day. This is one area where I would really recommend stretching your budget as far as possible- having worked with a lot of wedding photographers recently I can attest that you can really tell the difference, both on the day and in the pictures, between the two ends of the pricing spectrum.

While you generally can't try them out I would definitely recommend going through a lot of their work, including a few whole weddings, so that you have an idea of what your wedding gallery might like.

THREE BASIC STYLES

CLASSIC

Quick description- Classic or traditional wedding photographers are the sort who will take photos more or less how your parent's wedding album looks. Formal, posed group shots and a good selection of posed couple portraits. Generally the cheapest option, often wedding photographers start out shooting traditionally before finding their signature style.

Perfect for- Brides who have a set list of photos they want taken. If you're a pinterest addict and you like posing for and setting up pictures this might be the perfect style for you. Classic photographers will take as many group shots as you like, which is bound to keep your granny happy.

How to spot them- Often the best way is to ask friends and family. If you're less worried about the photographer's individual style, this can be a really quick and easy way of finding them. If you're on their website, look out for pictures of groups of people all looking at the camera, or the bride holding the bouquet above her head triumphantly.

JOURNALISTIC

Quick Description- Candid, journalistic or reportage wedding photographers aim to be as noninvasive as possible throughout the day. They will take group pictures if you ask, but in general will just follow your day from behind the camera taking pictures whenever they see them.

Perfect for- Brides who don't like to have their pictures taken and don't want to spend time away from their guests on the day. My sister used a brilliant photographer who took her for a 15 minute walk on the beach, and we barely saw him for the rest of the day, even though he was taking stunningly intimate pictures of us.

How to spot them- look for buzz words on their website like natural and relaxed. Their gallery should be full of people laughing, showing real emotion and looking super natural.

EDITORIAL

Quick Description- These are the photographers with really unusual visions for your day. Because they are often so diverse, it is difficult to lump them all in together- my personal favorites are fine art wedding photographers like Rachel Rose. They take more time than other photographers, but they bring their unique vision to your day and create beautiful images. Be prepared to have to get ready at least an hour before you leave for church to take posed pictures of you and your maids, and to take an hour out after the ceremony for pics with you and your husband.

Perfect for- brides who are willing to spend more time finding a photographer who's style suits them. Brides who feel relatively comfortable in front of a camera.

How to spot them- these photographers often promote their work through styled shoots on wedding blogs and in wedding magazines. Try your local wedding magazine or links from your dress designer or florist's photography and social media. Once you're on their website, keep an eye out for pictures where the light is incredible- it's often the best sign of a great editorial photographer.

5tipsforbuyingbespoke

instabridalzen

Guestlisthackinsta

The Small Wedding Guest-List Hack

Guestlisthackinsta

One of the biggest influences on how much money your wedding is going to cost you is how many people you're inviting. The average number of guests attending weddings is falling- in the US it fell by 10 last year to 140. But the average amount we spend per guest is still on the rise- up to £180 from £145 in 2009. Every couple on that list is costing you another £360. The cost of a big guest list is more than just the huge catering bill; more guests mean paying for a bigger venue, more decorations, more crockery, more table linens, more stationery, the list goes on. Often, people are invited more out of obligation than a genuine desire to see them on your big day. So I've come up with a cheat to help narrow down the guest list to only the people who really love you and really deserve to be there;

WOULD YOU LEND THIS PERSON £100.

It's going to cost you more than that to have them at your wedding, so if your answer isn't a resounding yes, leave them off the list.

Instagrey

instabridalzen

AddedOhlala

The Bespoke Process

 

BespokeprocessPeople are often a little intimidated by the idea of buying a bespoke wedding dress, to take the stress out of it I've outlined here the three basic steps towards having a bespoke wedding dress made for you.

1.design

I've got all sorts of tips on how to pick the right dress for you, from getting involved with the design to picking the right dress for your shape. The first stage of the process is picking someone you're happy working with and then having them design you your perfect dress. This is usually done in one complimentary meeting, but you may need a follow up to go over specific colour or fabric swatches, particularly if you're not getting married in Ivory or you're picking lace. Once the design has been finalised a 50% deposit is taken.

To me, this stage is the most fun part of the process but it actually scares a lot of brides off bespoke, and they end up choosing off the peg something that is almost  exactly what they're looking for, or in the worst case scenario (like my sister) picking the least bad option available. My advice with bespoke is to stay the course and have a little faith- there will be plenty of opportunities to amend details as you go along.

2.toile

The next stage is for me to go away and make the pattern for your dress, and then to make it up in cheap fabric for you to try on. This process gives me an idea of how much fabric I'll need to buy, lets me see how well the pattern I've made fits you and gives you the chance to really visualise how the finished thing is going to look on. When you try on the toile it can be difficult to see past the cheap fabric, but if there are any big problems (you've completely changed your mind about the neckline etc) now is the time to raise them!

3.fit

I will require you to attend several fittings, usually in the 2 months leading up to your wedding. At the first, the dress is made in the final fabric in order to check the fit again. Often the stress of a wedding means brides change size slightly, and this fitting allows me to accommodate for that. Once we are happy with the fit, the final details will be added, such as lace applique or the scallop on your hem, and the dress will be ready to take away.

5tipsforbuyingbespoke

instashoppin1

AddedOhlala

5 Top Tips For Buying Bespoke

5tipsforbuyingbespoke

I recently started working with the West Country Wedding Planners based in Exeter and they asked me to write down my top five tips for their brides on buying a bespoke wedding dress. It was hard to narrow it down, but to me these are five ways to get the most out of the dress buying journey.

My top five tips for buying a bespoke wedding dress

1. Get inspired

Unlike walking into a shop and picking something out, with bespoke you have a real opportunity to be involved in the design of your dress. Get inspired by wedding magazines and Pinterest, start collecting images and see if there's a common theme - maybe they all have sleek skirts or use a lot of lace. Remember that inspiration can come from anywhere and you have the chance to be very personal - maybe you could include details from your mum's dress or from what you wore on your first date? Think about your favourite thing to wear and why you love it.

2. Consider what you want to be able to do in the dress

Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life - you do not want to be uncomfortable. If being able to run up the church steps, dance, or cycle away on a tandem is important to you, make sure you're picking a dress you can move in. This also applies to choosing your undergarments and shoes. It might be a good idea to skip the tightly laced corset and killer heels and opt for Spanx and shoes you can comfortably walk down the aisle in- remember that it's a wedding day and you're likely to spend more than 12 hours in your outfit.

3. Chose your designer carefully

It is important to find a designer who you like personally and whose style suits your vision for your wedding day. You will have quite a few appointments with this person, and spend a fair amount of time together in the run up to your special day. Look at their previous work online, and definitely meet them before committing. Once you've found someone you want to work with, trust them. It can be a challenging process waiting to see your dress finished, be patient and trust that you chose this person for a reason.

4. Leave plenty of time

Ask your designer what the turnaround for their dresses typically is. From most bridal boutiques the order time is about 6 months. With dressmakers it can be shorter, but too close to the wedding they may charge a rush fee. It's also not unusual to be charged a little extra if you lose or gain a lot of weight in the run up to the wedding; since the dress is being made specifically to fit you it can cause a lot of extra work. Remember to go to fittings in the underwear and heels you plan on wearing on the day, as they can also have an effect on your posture and body shape.

5. Take one kind, trustworthy friend

In your first meeting with a designer you should be getting a sense of what they do, what you want, and maybe trying on a few samples. It is likely that you will walk away with a pretty clear idea of what dress you will end up with. The temptation is therefore to bring along all your bridesmaids, sisters and mum. This will mean that rather than focusing on what you want for your day and from your dress, you are worried about their opinions and them getting bored. There are plenty of fittings which your bridesmaids can come to, and the final fit (where you pick up your dress) is the most fun one for them to attend. Leave them at home and bring only your kindest, most trustworthy friend.

instashoppin1

Bespokeprocess

Demelzabutton1

What to wear shopping for a wedding dress

 

Shopping for a wedding dress is a little different to your typical shopping experience- a little preparation can go a long way to smoothing out some of the wrinkles and meaning you have a really lovely experience.

instashoppin1

  1. Wear whatever underwear you plan on wearing on the day

First of all, this will help you understand how the dress will hang on you on the day. Spanx have the ability to change a dress from making you feel a little lumpy to it fitting you perfectly. I would personally recommend Spanx over a boned corset, because you wear it for a long time on your wedding day and you want to be comfy. Make sure whatever you wear is nude so that it doesn't shine through the dress.

Secondly, since wedding dresses can be a little tricky to get into, you may need help from the woman in the shop (hi!). I have seen just about everything, from super sexy thongs to sponge bob square pants briefs. Both could be a little embarrassing in front of a woman you've just met.

  1. Wear shoes a similar height to what you want to wear

This seems like a fairly obvious one. The height of your heels can have a big impact on how the dress looks, and is useful if you need to be measured that you know what height your shoes are. If they are too uncomfortable to go shopping in, they are too uncomfortable for your wedding! Wearing them to few fittings might also help wear them in, and save you blistered feet at the start of your honeymoon.

  1. Tie your hair up

Most brides wear their hair up, so even just having it in a sleek pony tail gives you a better idea of what you might look like on the day. It is also much cooler, and trying on dresses can get quite warm.

  1. No foundation

While people often say wear a little make up so you feel good about yourself, I have to say this is a dressmaker's worst nightmare. No matter how hard you try, you end up getting a little orange makeup on the clean white samples. It's the number one reason for me having to retire sample dresses from use. Mascara is enough!

5tipsforbuyingbespoke

InstaHateShopping

Bespokeprocess