People often ask me “but how do you deal with Bridezillas”. And the easy answer is, I don’t. There really isn’t such a thing. No one gets proposed to and instantly turns into a mythical monster. Occasional tantrums are in fact a fairly natural reaction to planning the most expensive party of your life, for 150 people of all ages and interests, more or less completely alone, at which you are expected not to look like a frazzled amateur event planner but the most beautiful, calm and happy version of yourself. Almost everyone has some form of break down- from the small bicker with your mother in law (“I’m sorry Susan, but it’s my wedding and we’re serving duck because I said so”) to causing full blown family feuds. The thing to remember is that behind the tantrum there is a woman who was once a calm, reasonable, rational human, and the stress of her normal life plus wedding has tipped her over the edge.
My sister, always full of wisdom, was one of the most relaxed and happy brides I have ever seen. I've borrowed top tips from her before, so this time I asked how she kept her cool;
Getting engaged is super exciting. You’re getting married to your best friend, the love of your life, and you’re having a big party with all of your nearest and dearest to celebrate. So far, so awesome. If you’re anything like me though, you have no idea how to even begin to go about organising said party. You want it to be wonderful and for everyone to have a good time. On the other hand, you don’t want to spend thousands of pounds that you don’t have, or end up so stressed out about everything that you don’t end up able to enjoy yourself.
So how can you make the whole thing easier for yourself?
- Delegate
My mum and sisters basically organised my entire wedding with minimal input from me. This involves a certain amount of trust that they won’t mess up, but really if you insist on organising every single thing yourself you’ll only end up with a headache. If you still want to be in control, delegate specific tasks or ones that help without eliminating other options- ask your bridesmaids to make shortlists of local photographers, or ask them to find their own shoes and accessories.
- Get things booked a long time in advance
Our engagement was just over a year and a half, which gave us plenty of time to book things. Venues, bands, photographers etc. can book up over a year in advance so if you book these things really soon after getting engaged, you’ll be far more likely to have your pick of dates and get the people you want.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
At a cousin’s wedding, the father of the bride stood up and spoke about the nightmare of wedding organisation from his perspective. For the place settings, they had gone to a beach and picked up a small piece of driftwood for every guest to use as the place settings. The thing is, until he said this, nobody had noticed the place settings at all! Yes, you want to have pretty little details and yes they do make a difference to the overall feel of your wedding. But just remember that what people are going to remember is how much fun they had and how happy you looked, not the font used on the order of service.
